** Recall Notice **
The Maker of all human beings
is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a
serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and
Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed, "Subsequential Internal
Nonmorality", or more commonly known as SIN, as it is primarily expressed.
Some other symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect is
providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to correct this
SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus, has most generously offered to bear
the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required. The number to call for repair in all areas
is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart
component. No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it
with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE (Believers Instructions Before
Leaving Earth), for further details on the use of these fixes. As an added
upgrade, the Manufacturer
has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance from a resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy
Ghost. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up permanent
residence on the premises!
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without correction voids any
Manufacturer warranties, exposing the unit to dangers and problems too numerous
to list and will result in the human unit being permanently impounded. For free
emergency service, call on JESUS.
DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so
as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention. Please assist where possible by notifying others
of this important recall notice!!!
~~~ASI By Steve:
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